Monday, September 30, 2002
Saturday, September 28, 2002
Friday, September 27, 2002
Thursday, September 26, 2002
Wednesday, September 25, 2002
I like to watch the occasional movie in Windows Media Player (no, not just porn) so I was a little concerned by the release of the new patch for Media Player. Apparently if you don't install this patch, the Evil Hackers can log on to your machine, run software of their choice and generally make your life miserable. (Unsubstantiated claims have came in that the unpatched version also sends your home phone number to space aliens, but I don't think there was any actual evidence.) I like to decide what code runs on my own computer, so I quick-like-a-bunny downloaded the patch and told it to install.
And there, in black and gray, was Microsoft's latest EULA. Here's the, um, interesting information:
Digital Rights Management (Security). You agree that in
order to protect the integrity of content and software
protected by digital rights management ("Secure Content"),
Microsoft may provide security-related updates to the OS
Components that will be automatically downloaded onto
your computer. These security-related updates may disable
your ability to copy and/or play Secure Content and use
other software on your computer. If we provide such a
security update, we will use reasonable efforts to post
notices on a Web site explaining the update.
Um, excuse me? Pardon me for reading legalese as if it were English, but if I click OK, I'm giving Microsoft permission to disable software on my computer? And it's OK as long as it decides that this is in the name of Security? And that Microsoft might let me know on some Web site somewhere (maybe in an unused basement lavatory behind a door with a sign that says, "Beware the white rabbit") when it's done.
Tuesday, September 24, 2002
Monday, September 23, 2002
GPRS will be on all new phones. Fear it.
For the first time, GPRS fully enables Mobile Internet functionality by allowing interworking between the existing Internet and the new GPRS network. Any service that is used over the fixed Internet today- File Transfer Protocol (FTP), web browsing, chat, email, telnet- will be as available over the mobile network because of GPRS. In fact, many network operators are considering the opportunity to use GPRS to help become wireless Internet Service Providers in their own right.
Sunday, September 22, 2002
Saturday, September 21, 2002
I'm in Idaho
I'm in Idaho. yay! It's boring here and it's full of god damn hippies, but I'm visiting my friend and the air is nice and I'm walking distance to a really nice lake (walk there dismorning before lunch). Oh and we got some good weed and rum. So I got something to past the time.
Radioactive URANINITE Uranium ore 3000cpm, Email Address For Sale: nympho4u@hotmail.com, and Cadaver/Body Bag for Coroner Use.
Also there was "my girlfriends panties however you like" but there were no pictures on that one.
Friday, September 20, 2002
To Jenny:
"She's My Rock"
You tell me how she was when you once knew her
She played her games with many, many men
You tell me that you don't think I'd be with her
If I could have known her back then
You ask me why I don't pack up and leave her
Now that I know her wicked ways
Well, I doubt that you could understand my thinking
But listen close to what I have to say
(Chorus:)
She's the rock that I lean on
She's the sunshine of my day
I don't care what you say about her
She took me in and made me everything I am today
She's my rock and I ain't gonna throw her away
I know she wasn't always what she is now
She had to make mistakes like everybody else
And don't you point you finger at nobody
It's plain to see you ain't no saint yourself
(Repeat chorus)
Thursday, September 19, 2002
Heh, YN now sells shit...well sort of...
westcoastlette: hey i have a question for you
Sppirt: uhm sure
Sppirt: oh and hi
westcoastlette: yeah long time no talk
westcoastlette: first off i need to pay you back your $4 but im broke right now...but i was wonderign if you were interested in some dvds, a ps2, a 19 inch tv or some ps2 games
Sppirt: ps2 maybe why?
Sppirt: Why are ya getting rid of them?
westcoastlette: my man needs car insurance...its his stuff im sellin...
Sppirt: I get about 100 hits a day on my site I'll post it up there if you give me your e-mail. they will e-mail you if intersted.
Sppirt: oh it would help to know for how much?
westcoastlette: the ps2?
Sppirt: any of it
westcoastlette: all the dvds are $12, the tv is $110, the games differ in price, and the ps2 is 140-150
Sppirt: ok cool i'l post it what's your e-mail?
westcoastlette: sincityjuggalette@yahoo.com
westcoastlette: thanx@
westcoastlette:
westcoastlette: :)
Storytime!
My mother was a fanatic about public toilets. As a little girl, she'd bring me in the stall, teach me to wad up toilet paper and wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay strips of toilet paper to cover the seat. Finally, she'd instruct, "Never, never sit on a public toilet seat." And she'd demonstrate "The Stance," which consisted of balancing over the toilet in a sitting position without actually letting any of your flesh make contact with the toilet seat. But by this time, I'd have peed down my leg. And we'd go home.
That was a long time ago. I've had lots of experience with public toilets since then, but I'm still not particularly fond of public toilets, especially those with powerful, red-eye sensors. Those toilets know when you want them to flush. They are psychic toilets. But I always confuse their psychic ability by following my mother's advice and assuming The Stance.
The Stance is excruciatingly difficult to maintain when one's bladder is especially full. This is most likely to occur after watching a full-length feature film. During the movie pee, it is nearly impossible to hold The Stance. You know what I mean. You drink a two liter cup of Diet Coke, then sit still through a three-hour saga because, for God's sake, even if you didn't wipe or wash your hands in the bathroom, you'd still miss the pivotal part of the movie or the second scene, in which they flash the leading man's naked derriere. So, you cross your legs and you hold it. And you hold it until that first credit rolls and you sprint to the bathroom, about ready to explode all over your internal organs.
And at the bathroom, you find a line of women that makes you think there's a half-price sale on Mel Gibson's underwear in there. So, you wait and smile politely at all the other ladies, also crossing their legs and smiling politely. And you finally get closer. You check for feet under the stall doors. Every one is occupied. You hope no one is doing frivolous things behind those stall doors, like blowing her nose or checking the contents of her wallet.
Finally, a stall door opens and you dash, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter. You hang your handbag on the door hook, yank down your pants and assume The Stance. Relief. More relief. Then your thighs begin to shake. You'd love to sit down but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold The Stance as your thighs experience a quake that would register an eight on the Richter scale. To take your mind off it, you reach for the toilet paper. Might as well be ready when you are done. The toilet paper dispenser is empty. Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny napkin you wiped your fingers on after eating buttered popcorn. It would have to do. You crumble it in the puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail.
Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work and your pocketbook whams you in the head. "Occupied!" You scream as you reach out for the door, dropping your buttered popcorn napkin in a puddle and falling backward, directly onto the toilet seat. You get up quickly, but it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with all the germs and life forms on the bare seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper, not that there was any, even if you had enough time to. And your mother would be utterly ashamed of you if she knew, because her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, "You don't know what kind of diseases you could get." And by this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, sending up a stream of water akin to a fountain and then it suddenly sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged to China.
At that point, you give up. You're finished peeing. You're soaked by the splashing water. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a Chicklet wrapper you found in your pocket, then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the sinks with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past a line of women, still waiting, cross-legged and unable to smile politely at this point. One kind soul at the very end of the line points out that you are trailing a piece of toilet paper on your shoe as long as the Mississippi River. You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and say warmly, "Here. You might need this."
At this time, you see your spouse, who has entered, used and exited his bathroom and read a copy of "War and Peace" while waiting for you. "What took you so long?" he asks, annoyed. This is when you kick him sharply in the shin and go home.
This is dedicated to all women everywhere who have ever had to deal with a public toilet. And it finally explains to all you men what takes us so long. That, and we're probably having wild hot naked lesbian sex with all the other women who chose to visit the restroom at that very moment, writhing on the cold sinks while you men sit outside and wonder what we're doing in there.
Tuesday, September 17, 2002
Monday, September 16, 2002
Sunday, September 15, 2002
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."
The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."
Saturday, September 14, 2002
Thursday, September 12, 2002
Odds of me becoming a spy? Zero
"Coupled with the length of the investigations, Shays said, 'That means individuals granted top-secret clearances in 1994 might go nine full years before completion of any detailed scrutiny of their fitness to handle classified information.' "
Forbidden thoughts about 9/11
"There's always been a joke among African-Americans about black folks and white folks during a disaster. My father was quick to point out a black woman who had managed to get out of the towers when she was actually on a floor above where the plane hit and she was still trying to get out of downtown when the reporter stopped her."2001 was a great year for me; I hated the twin towers and I hated the Taliban and now they're both gone!" -- Lesbian feminist from Greenwich Village
The fact that tons of white people just stood there near the towers looking before they fell cracked him up. It confirmed the stereotype of white folks never thinking anything is ever going to happen to them. And since black people are used to fucked-up crap happening to them all the time they were trying to get the hell out of there.
Of course I spotted a few African-Americans looking lost. My dad just said that they've been around white people too damn long. Real black folks run."
Wednesday, September 11, 2002
America the land of the trendy...
A friend of mine noted, as all the flag bumper stickers and crap started getting slapped up all over houses, cars and work cubbies, that some people weren't even really sticking the stickers on their cars -- they were scotch-taping them to the inside of their car windows. It was as if they knew that their surge of patriotic feeling would fade, and they wouldn't want to be left looking like a hick with the stupid flag sticker left on their car. Totally cynical, but I think that's true.
Tuesday, September 10, 2002
Monday, September 09, 2002
Definition: Voluptuary
Voluptuary: \vuh_LUP_choo_er_ee\ n: 1. One who makes his physical enjoyment his chief care; one addicted to luxury, and the gratification of sensual appetites; a sensualist.
Sunday, September 08, 2002
Saturday, September 07, 2002
China blocks AltaVista search engine
BEIJING, China (CNN) -- Chinese Internet police have apparently blocked a second search engine, AltaVista, in an effort to eliminate pornography and "unhealthy material" from reaching Chinese citizens online. The move comes a few days after the Google search engine was blocked, marking an escalation of policy that once applied only to locally-based Internet companies.
Friday, September 06, 2002
Stalker part 2: The second e-mail
From: "Lianne Bimendi"
if ur wonderin where i got ur email address from i got it from asite called
www.imood.com id like 2 b friends wiv u if u dont mind??
cud u send me a pic opf u ill try and find 1 2 send 2 u okay
lianne
I responded: I don't think my girlfriend would like that very much.
if ur wonderin where i got ur email address from i got it from asite called
www.imood.com id like 2 b friends wiv u if u dont mind??
cud u send me a pic opf u ill try and find 1 2 send 2 u okay
lianne
I responded: I don't think my girlfriend would like that very much.
Look I have a stalker too!
hi tripps,
wots ur real name??
age??
where u from??
im lianne 16 uk
u??
plz reply bye
Introducing the Megway Transporting Human (TH), a revolutionary new invention from 0sil8 Heavy Industries. Megway TH represents a bold step forward in pedestrian science and engineering.
The fast-grip soles on its "feet" allow Megway TH to maintain a high rate of speed and maneuverability even on grass, gravel, or in wet conditions. The rest of Megway's outer shell consists of a layered hybrid bio-cotton material that keeps the computer and drive mechanism insulated from weather and heat extremes. Stairs, rocky terrain, and other obstacles that would slow down a wheeled vehicle are no problem for Megway TH. Megway's patented bipedal locomotion system allows it to go anywhere you can go.
Megway TH: Bigger than Jesus
The fast-grip soles on its "feet" allow Megway TH to maintain a high rate of speed and maneuverability even on grass, gravel, or in wet conditions. The rest of Megway's outer shell consists of a layered hybrid bio-cotton material that keeps the computer and drive mechanism insulated from weather and heat extremes. Stairs, rocky terrain, and other obstacles that would slow down a wheeled vehicle are no problem for Megway TH. Megway's patented bipedal locomotion system allows it to go anywhere you can go.
Megway TH: Bigger than Jesus
Thursday, September 05, 2002
Who will you be this Menstrual Monday?
Prize Suggestions for costume contest:
Olympic Style - Paint tampons with metallic paint, gold for first place, silver for second, bronze for third (might be easiest to just dip tampon into jar of paint). Let dry, then attach to ribbon to place around winner's neck, Olympic style.
Jars of Spaghetti Sauce - 32-ounce for first place, 16-ounce second...and for third, a small can of tomato paste.
Prize Suggestions for costume contest:
Olympic Style - Paint tampons with metallic paint, gold for first place, silver for second, bronze for third (might be easiest to just dip tampon into jar of paint). Let dry, then attach to ribbon to place around winner's neck, Olympic style.
Jars of Spaghetti Sauce - 32-ounce for first place, 16-ounce second...and for third, a small can of tomato paste.
Tuesday, September 03, 2002
Tell Mike to update his site.
Sometimes I wonder what ever happened to those actors and actresses that were on those shows I use to watch when I was a little kid. They had alot of passion and some of them were also producers of show and wanting to give children a means of entertainment along with something educationaly motivating, and then I think I about porn and remember that one where the chick is all like "stick in my ass" and then she tells the other guy to watch her face and when the guy sticks it in her ass the camera is on her face and you see her look real uncomfortable, but at the same time she enjoys cause she's nasty like that, and then I think I start to think "Man, I wish had a cool trans am like that guy from the cartoon MASK with the dolorean like doors and he could fly and shoot missiles, but not that helicopter that turned into a jet, that was pointless."
What if?
OK, here's a good "What if" question I thought of. If had the power to turn back time for only 5 minutes once a day and had full knowledge that you leaped back in in time by 5 miutes, what would you do?
Monday, September 02, 2002
Longest day of my life
I spent the day helping my friend move out of his house because him and his wife are getting divorce, the hardest part is that I'm best friends with both of them.
Sunday, September 01, 2002
Score on for Jesus
I don't know about you, but Jesus playing Basketball sure made me a believer. Inspirational Jesus Sports Statues.
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