*cough* *cough* *wheeze*

I'm still kind of sick. Granted I'm feeling much better than yesterday. So I'm on the recovering end of this.

This just in...

Blood and tears make applejuice. This is the wisdom of a 5 year old.

Hottest chick (n)ever!

Other changes Part 3

I just finished adding 20+ sex tips. I started adding them during my last post at 11am.

Other changes Part 2

Also, if one of the tips up there needs refinement let me know. We'll see if we can't improve the method.

Other changes...

While I was on my way to San Francisco from Roseville, Lacie, Erin, Kim and I start discussing sex. I explained to Lacie where the g-spot and how to find it. I then went through a gamete of small lessons. All three of them suggested I write a book or become a sex therapist. As of right now I'm not that ambitious. Instead I'm going to change the daily quotes to sex tips. Just like quotes, feel free to submit your own tip. Your membership name can be posted with it if you so desire. I'm sorry if you feel this is egotistical. I'm tired of pretending I think less of myself just to appease others. When I set my mind to it, I can really rock in bed.

Site changes.

I totally removed the use of the "news". It was pointless. Instead I replaced it with my blogger. This makes it easier for everyone to find it. By popular demand, I've started to add games. Java bomberman isn't working anymore. I'll have to find another place to leech the files. For now, feel free to try Suicide Bomber. It's fun and policically incorrect.

Complexity in Simplicity

"The better I know you, the less I understand you." I want people to understand me without them knowing me. I know this can't happen, but this is what I want. I don't want to give away too much. That gives them ammunition. People who think I'm a simple guy don't really have a firm grasp of who I am. The people that truely know me probably see some aspects of me but have never really put a name to it. I call is my "duality".

Dinner tonight

Lacie, Erin, Kim and I went to Swiss Louise for dinner in San Francisco. We had seats right on the warf. Remind me later, to post about the bar experience later.

I'm leavin' on a jet plane...

I'm heading to California today. In fact I'm in line to board the plane. This should be an interesting weekend.

Let's be consistent here...

Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them. 1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord -- Lev. 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness -- Lev. 15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence. 4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination -- Lev. 11:10-- it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die? 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? -- Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

Quick HIV Test Wins Approval

"The first oral test for the AIDS virus that gives results in 20 minutes won approval from the Food and Drug Administration Friday, a new option for people leery of blood testing."

MSNBC - Yes folks, this is news.

"There are no major health consequences to frequent masturbation. If there were, plenty of men would look like Gollum from 'The Lord of the Rings.'"

Hmmmm

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Long John Silver's President announces the company will give America free Giant Shrimp on May 10...

...to celebrate NASA's discovery of salt water on Mars

Poetic SPAM

when i take my head and spin it all it takes my panties to the wall take me now like a lion in the jungle with lots of passion in your hands stike it baby strike it its the way of the strong to get in the center of the weak and explode read my mind like a adult with a toy look into my eyes with fire burning tall hard and pounding in the air of the night to bring more of the same in the next to come

Now I've seen everything...

This was spam I got today...

Fred was applying for a job as a flagman/switch operator on the railroad. The chief engineer was conducting the interview. "What would you do if the Northern Express was heading north on Track 1 and the Southern Central was heading south on Track 1?" Fred quickly answered, "Well, I'd call my brother." The chief engineer just sat there for a second. "Why would you call your brother ?" "He's never seen a train wreck before."

I saw "The Dawn of the Dead" last night. I have my new profession. I want to be a zombie. Every day is "casual dress day" at work.

I am...

justin is my squeeze toy justin is bootylicious justin is a pixie justin is a little wacky justin is a 13 year old boy with a smile that can warm your heart justin is alleged to have had her justin is so naughty

The stagnant ever-changing....

I was walking back from my old house on Deerfield with Windy and Greg last night. We hadn't made that walk together for five or six years. I ran into Derek. He's lost weight and got himself a good lookin' girlfriend. Zack and Patrick are still gay. Aaron is still fat, and Eric, well I dunno 'cause he's off in college. I imagine Windy, Greg and I will make that walk again 5 years from now. Five years from now Windy and Greg imagine they'll be married, not to each other though. I imagine neither one of them will be married. They both look for something they'll never find.

People are fucked...

Girls, think about the last time you gave a guy's snake the friendly handshake.

This, my friends, is a religious wacko.

I updated the filename of my blog just for shits and giggles. It's now tripps.blog instead of trippsblog.php

It's a sad, sad, day.

I realised I have lost taste for hardcore porn. What a tragedy.

A fabel (paraphrased by me)

There once was a man who was standing in the snow next to a river. The man saw a snake, half frozen and near death, lying in the water. He took the snake home and cared for it, fed it, and nursed it back to health. The snake started to recover. The man continued to care for the snake for an entire week. At the end of the week, the man picked up the snake the snake bit him. As the man lay dying he asked "I fed you and cared for you after saving you from certain death. Why did you bite me?" The snake looked at the man and said "You knew what I was before you picked me up."

I'm Rick James Bitch!

IMHO

I feel that when someone changes their story without an explanation it diminishes the validity of the story.

George Carlin

"The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things -- bad language and whatever -- it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition. . . . There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. . . . It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have."

Mate in Vietnam

Although I find the concept as a whole rather primative, I also find it strangely alluring. Perhaps because I would make out like a King. I know it's one sided but the primitave man (read: brilliant pig bastard) in me can't help but like the idea. It really is awful though.

Communism

The perfect government run by imperfect people.

Drama, drama all around...

Drama makes me physically ill. That was all Jenny's doing. Our breakup made it so drama made me physically ill. I don't avoid drama because I'm more grown up. I avoid it because it makes me physically sick.

Note to self:

Lunchbox is "teddy bear". What a fag.

Another one slips through the cracks...

Life is a chess game We are all pawns to the King To be sacrificed

Fitzpatrick said the ladder �came within inches� of impacting the live nuclear warhead.

Damn it!

The starter on my truck died. :(

I'm still...

The same guy. I was heavy for 10 years. I'm now have a fat guy mind in a skinny body. So if I make the same fat jokes I used to, it's because I still don't recognize the face in the mirror.

The roommates walks in...

"When living with another person, not only do you have to decide who's going to do the dishes and who's going to vacuum, you have to devise a system to avoid walking in on each other during your most intimate moments. If you have your own room, you need to make certain you always lock your door. But if you live in the dorms, you should come up with a symbol that says to your roommate, 'Hey, I'm gettin' laid.'"

Charlize Theron Smoking Weed

My Life: Update

Work: Work is going well. Not much to say there. Home: I'm still trying to get ahold of the company that sells my bedroom furniture. I want that bed damn it! Also, I wear a size SMALL in shirts. T-shirts are still a medium, but actual shirts are a small. When I went into the changing room last night I couldn't get over it. I did a little song and dance. I'm also considering buying another vehicle. I want a convertable. Something where the sun can hit my face, the wind can whip my hair, and I can see the stars at night. Love: I don't think I'm ready for anything yet. I don't think I've grown up enough. After looking over past relationships I can see alot of places where I need to take a harder look at myself. I've been on a few dates, nothing special there. Sex: Nothing new to update here. (Obviously) Friends: Greg has been going to the gym with me. Honestly, I thought Steve would go more than Greg would. Turns out I was wrong. I've spent most of my (ever shrinking) free time with Aurora and Becky this past week. If I'm not with those two, then I'm with Greg. Oh and I just made reservations to visit Kim. She's been bugging me so I finally caved.

Johnny Cash ate a Death Roll too...

I fell in to a burning ring of fire I[t] went down,down,down and the flames went higher. And it burns,burns,burns the ring of fire the ring of fire.

random quote

sppirt: I love meat.

Hmph. (Part II)

So I'm a guy and I like having sex. What makes me different than anyone else? What puts me on a higher plane of morals? Sometimes I could really give a shit what anyone else thinks. Will I keep up the celibacy? Won't I? Who knows? I'll do what I want and you can all go to hell.

Hmph. (Part I)

Well I think I need to rethink things again. My life has become a series of experiments. I'm tired of examining myself. I'm tired of others examining me. I'm tired of trying to be this "good guy". I'm tired of trying to better myself for the benefit of others.

Halloween X: Follow The Money

See? Microsoft is EVIL. EVIL!

Religious People

I posted this in response to a post that was referenced to by another post. But it rang so true I felt I should cross-post it. Post post post post post.

People use religion to try and relieve the guilt from the sins they have commited. Then they turn around and chastise you. This is in an attempt to, once again, cleanse their sins. I've seen it enough times to know. My family does it. I've seen people of every faith try and hide. You can't. You have to deal with what you've done. You have to come to grips with it. Stop trying to run other's lives. You can't cleanse your own guilt by controlling others.

Xena :(

The family dog died last night/this morning. She really was a good good dog. It hurts.

This is just days after the Long John Silver event was over.

Water Once Filled Mars Opportunity Rover Landing Site

I'm such a brilliant pig bastard...

I have a solution that works for me. I'm celibate until 4/11/04 or until I get a menage a trois, whichever comes first. Why? Chances are, I'll never get one. But at least I don't have to say "no" outright anymore. I'm lovin' it like McDonalds.

WHOA

Fry's sells porn?!? Fuckin' a that place does have everything!