Woman: My Assigned License Plate Is Suggestive

Defeat Telemarketers for free. Sounds legit folks.

You design and then purchase your own pair of shoes!

This is when this page thinks I'm going to die.

Yo yo yo! This is Jesus kickin' it on the one's and two's. I be big bling pimpin' and shit.

Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat began using a soft-core sex video on Thursday to entice new "martyrs" to the cause of killing Israelis.

Wow! I never realized I got a first invitation to be able to post. I feel so honored. I may be late in accepting, but as I always say...better late than never. So here I am, I just have to come up with some witty things to post now. I will work on it...

jenythgr8 (9:25:07 AM): and I still haven't gotten an email from you since the first day. that's all lonely-making.

It still breaks my heart to read that. Even though we're together again and everything is good, I still feel bad. So much emotion conveyed in one little sentence. Jenny I love you. *sigh* Come home.

In an image the telescope took last week of nearby galaxy NGC 5018, the very first moments of a supernova were unveiled.

Ambulance driver stopped for donuts while driving patient to hospital. He says he was fired because of his race.

The Palestinian family who photographed their baby dressed up as a suicide bomber has told Sky News it was a joke.

First, the Vatican was accused of hiding the records of priests who've abused kids. Now, it's being accused of hiding a time machine.

A hiker is stranded in South America's Andes mountains when a blizzard begins. He reaches into his backpack for his cell phone -- only to find his prepaid minutes are up.

Any day now.. its gonna' start-my real life and anyday now.. everything id gonna' be alright.. Anyday, now.. lifes gonna' get real good. and somehow..life'll be like i said it would. Anyday, now.. I'm gonna' jump right in. and anyday now my destiny will begin. and until then I'll just be here wasting my time... but, don't you worry, I'll be just fine...

A gameboy cam plugged into a game boy convertor that's plugged into a super nintendo that's pugged into a wireless RF adapter that's pugged into a USB capture device = webcam!

In California alone, a look at the state�s 1990 vital statistics showed that 77 percent of the children born to teenage mothers aged 16-18 were sired by fathers older than high school age. Men older than high school age were also responsible for 51 percent of the teenage births to girls 15 and younger.

If you ever needed a reason to kill yourself, let this webpage be it.

In fact, according to the team of scientists, the drug has the potential to cure one-third of all human cancers.

I get bored at work.

Wear-once paper G-strings launched for summer Women can now buy paper G-strings designed to be thrown away after being worn just once. She said it rolls up into the size of a little finger and is ideal for emergencies. Packs of three in coral, mint green and black cost �2.99. There are no paper underpants for men.

...if a tree fell in the forest and no one's around, does it make a sound? Which came first, the chicken or the egg? And just how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? Now, call me crazy, but I have a sneaking suspicion that the woodchuck had something to do with that tree falling in the forest. And the chicken probably came first, cuz he's better trained, what with all that crossing the road he does. But don't feel bad for the egg; he gets laid more.

"Reason and Ignorance, the opposites of each other, influence the great bulk of mankind. If either of these can be rendered sufficiently extensive in a country, the machinery of Government goes easily on. Reason obeys itself; and Ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it." -- Thomas Paine

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More on the ET pyramids.

Study shows men don't want to get married 'cause they are already getting laid.

http://www.mannotincluded.com - "We believe that the choice of how you inseminate is your own." Private fertility for Lesbian couples. Home kit available.

Nickelback's Chad Kroeger has been voted the ugliest person in rock in an online poll. One Kerrang.com user who voted for Kroeger said: "My five-year-old cousin saw him on TV one day and started screaming...I asked her what was wrong and she said 'Scary Jesus man on TV.'
"The poor guy fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."

IN THE NEWS TODAY, UK: Thai office worker Suwan Meunlow, 48, has been swallowing 15 live lizards a day for the last 30 years. He says the reptiles keep his chronic indigestion at bay. Britain's best-preserved Neanderthal butchery site, including the 50,000-year-old remains of mammoths and meat-cutting axes, has been uncovered in Norfolk. A little boy shares a vat of milk with dozens of rats - in the hope it can save him from plague. At the Karni Mata Hindu temple in Deshnoke in the north-west region of Rajasthan, India, rats are kings. They are believed to be reincarnations of dead human beings and are considered sacred. And, while rats have been blamed for spreading plague for centuries, it is claimed that drinking from the same container guarantees protection against the disease. A million people a year visit the shrine to the Hindu goddess Karni Mata - and reactions range from awe-struck to squeamish. If a rat scuttles across your feet in the temple, where visitors go barefoot, it is considered a sign of luck. Even better is a sighting of a rare white rat, which is revered as an incarnation of Karni Mata herself. A contact lens that is glued into wearers' eyes to aid sight for up to five years was unveiled yesterday. It is said to offer a safe and reversible alternative to laser eye surgery. Australian scientists are due to start human trials on the lens, which could correct long or short-sight problems. DailyRecord.co.uk

A new sonic weapon being developed for the Pentagon makes use of one of the most fearsome sounds known to humans: a baby crying. Once aimed at the enemy, a focused beam of the familiar noise, played backwards, will be painful enough to make enemy soldiers run for their lives, according to its developers. They call it the ��sonic bullet��. There are 50 soundtracks to choose from, and they are played at 140 decibels. That is akin to standing beneath a passenger jet as it takes off. Hardly surprising, then, that the weapon causes an intense headache in its victim.

DVD-RW (dual sided) for $264

Even I can't make a joke about this I just want to know who leaves a bottle of lighter fluid lying around for a 7 year old to grab?

For that person you can't get to fork out the cash for a PC.

Jenny on cam again. MMM Jenny....

Mitnick Testifies Against Sprint in Vice Hack Case The ex-hacker details his past control of Las Vegas' telecom network, and raids his old storage locker to produce the evidence.

porn

New Vegas hotel "Le Rev" will be most expensive ever

Jesus loves you!

Brrrr. Your inner child is Old Man Winter Baby, or an NIFA, blowing cold winds in from the North and freezing all in your path. Your inner chillin' grew up a long time ago, before the sun came and warmed the planet. You are what is known in religious tracts as an "old soul."

Your little man in you tends to freeze at the wrong time-- just when what you need is hot buttered action. So try a little tenderness once in a while, huh? Lighten up. The good news is you don't need professional help. Pet a puppy, jazzercise or lick a ripe watermelon and you'll start to feel much, much better.

The Supreme Court overturned the death sentences of at least 150 convicted killers Monday, ruling that juries and not judges must make such life-or-death decisions.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, this is the most evil being ever! Randall Flagg has a mullet. Randall Flagg: Pleased to meet you, Lloyd. Hope you guess my name. Lloyd: What? Randall Flagg: Just a classical reference.

This confirms that Scotland is the nearest thing there is to the Costa del Sol for aliens.

If I go to China and make a hot dog, would that be considered "chinese food" or would it still have to be made out of cat?

MGM-Mirage is hiring. Send me your resume and I'll submit it.

Tired of waking up and having to wait for your morning java to brew? Are you one of those groggy early morning types that just needs that extra kick? Know any programmers who dont regularly bathe and need some special motivation? Introducing Shower Shock, the caffeinated soap from ThinkGeek...

Axis Of Evil Homepage

Save the kittens!

It's bad enough that you have to look at John Lennon's cock on the cover of this record, but Yoko Ono is one of the only naked women that could make you go blind even if you didn't' masturbate.

Scientists have combined the DNA from a goat and spider to create an animal which produces silk that is five times stronger than steel.

Wait a minute, man. Hey, check this out, tell it. It was this blind man, right? Man, check this out- it was this blind man, right? He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right? Hey. He walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'? He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said, Woooooo, good morning, ladies.

China-trained Taliban
China's military provided training for Afghanistan's Taliban militia and its al Qaeda supporters, according to a U.S. intelligence report.

Jenny's on cam.

Software which would act as a proverbial "Dead Man's Switch" came up, which is basically a system that, if not reset by a given time, will automatically carry out a series of tasks, such as posting messages to websites like Ars, sending e-mails to loved ones (or hated ones), and encrypting or destroying sensitive files.

Ihumpthings.com Hump and submit, Justin. Make good use of that digital camera.

Coffee with cream, please

Food for thought. They say the world is our oyster. Variety is the spice of life. And we live in the land of milk and honey. We got eye candy. Flavors of the month. Toast of the town. The coolest thing since sliced bread. The creme de la creme. All that and a bag of chips. And if life gives you a lemon, make lemonade. But what about the bad apples and the sour grapes and the raspberries and the tough nuts you can't crack? Life may be a banquet but it's no picnic, either. But hey, if you can't take the heat then get out of the kitchen. Cuz you can't have your cake and eat it too. There's no such thing as a free lunch. You gotta break a few eggs if you want to make an omelette, you know what I'm saying? So remember: You are what you eat. The proof is in the pudding, my friend. How'd you like them apples?

I guess one wouldn't have to leave a tip, then.

Real-time road cams from Finland.

Finally, he was given back his clothes, and for the first time in a year, he knew what it was like to wear clothes other than women's underwear.

Windows XP Tweaking

At least three of the world's largest makers of computer memory chips have been subpoenaed as part of a federal criminal antitrust investigation, the companies said Wednesday.

The best match game EVER! NOT SAFE FOR WORK

New CD is as big as a quarter and holds twice the data.

Making my way downtown Waking fast Faces pass And I'm home bound Staring blankly ahead Making my way Making a way Through the crowd And I still need you And I still miss you And now I wonder If I could fall into the sky Do you think time would pass me by Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles If I could just see you... If I could just hold you... tonight.

See naked photos of Jenny!

Men DO talk about relationships.

DOOM III out in 2003! With a bloody screenshot! Makes me want to kill things. With a shotgun. And eat brains.

Since we're on the subject. Here's the rom for Ghosts'n Goblins.

HOLY SHIT! Where did my hair go?

How did they come up with this? "Hey baby, wanna Whopper with some special sauce?

Jenny what were you thinking?

NES Roms! I'm playing ducktales at work! Ten years ago, if somebody told me one day that I'd be playing nintendo at work on a computer, I'd decree that they are on drugs and proceed to "cap" on their momma while my friend would tell me that my ranks are fresh and that my zebra pants were sweet, and then remind me that Fresh Prince of Bel Air was on.

Ooooh, Athlon XP motherboards

How to tie a tie. Bookmark this page guys, you know you'll need it at some point.

Not bad for only the second time taking the practice test. I'm not NEARLY ready for the real thing but it's a start!

Like Trillian? Hate MSN messenger fucking it up? Click here to fix it.

I now also have warcraft III :)

Federal agents don't believe Terry Barton's story that a heartbreaking letter she burned in the woods accidentally turned into the gigantic Hayman Fire. They have accused the U.S. Forest Service employee of deliberately setting fire to the Pike National Forest and then lying about it.

We're the hotsprings gang. Fear our suburban anger!

free popcorn chicken 11:00-2:00 Thursday at KFC

I flipped off work and moved countries. Now I'm unemployed and relaxing in a nice 63 degree summer heat. In August I'll probably be programming photographic enhancement software for Kodak/FBI with my uncle. Much more relaxing job than a UNIX sysadmin, and sadly to say, probably higher paying. Flip your work off for me, Vegas corps don't pay enough for it to be worth the hassle

Work fucked me again. I'll post more as it develops. Still fucked but a little less painful. They're using lube. Now they're including a reach around. What an emotional roller coaster today has become.

Australian scientists have used stem cells to grow an organ in mice critical to the immune system, saying the technique could be used to restore the human immune system in AIDS -HIV and cancer patients.

Kid mouths off. Mom spanks kid. CPS yanks kid from home. Mom gets kid back, sues CPS. The suit wants to make a law demanding social workers be barred from taking children from their parents unless they have proof the children are in imminent danger.

I wish I could make a new template for my site. I'm aching to get up to the elbows in raw HTML code and make Notepad my bitch again. Meantime, though, with no personal computers at my disposal, I'll stick to admiring others' new stuff. Try Saucyspot.com for something today.

I decided I didn't like the old-new template. This is the new-new template. I like it much better.

"People cling to lives of weath and honor, comfort and pleasure, excitement and egoism, ignorant of the fact that the desire for these very things is the source of there human suffering. Greed is manifested in ignorance and false inventions that fill the human mind. Ignorance and false inventions rise from the fact that men are unaware of the true reason for the succession of things. From ignorance and false inventions there comes inpure desires for things that are in fact unobtainable, but for which men restlessly and blindly search." - a quote from a quote on some book I should read.

Common Sexual Myths Destroyed - Part II

Random geek news:Circuit City discontinues the VHS format

Triumph the Insult Dog Showcases

For the girlies: Rate my Kitten

Are you horny? (Yes, I know that's a stupid question.)

I feel nostalgic. Remember when Star Wars movies meant something? Hell, it was probably the only movie I watched during high-school where I *didn't* try to get my hand under my girlfriends shirt during the film (no wonder she asked to watch the series all the time) Here. have some Star Wars links Very high-class lightsaber mockups The best lightsaber page online. Ever. How to make your own StormTrooper outfit

Cali schools offer DDR as alternative to phys ed

Power outage sends Spears offstage
I bet she started crying when she left the stage.

Golf Tournament Suspected of Offering Prostitution

Radiological attack: 'Manhattan would be uninhabitable for years'

The new Toyota flying machine will cost about the same amount as the carmaker's vaunted Lexus luxury car - around $50,000 - and will be as simple to fly as driving a car.

WOOOOOOOOOO! I have Warcraft III the full version!

Chick to the Jews: Accept Jesus or you'll all die of plague. Jews to Chick: Watch out, its contagious.

Sweet I could use that code, the base windows theme just seems so boring now.

Friday night I'm going nowhere All the lights are changing green to red Turning over TV stations Situations running through my head Well looking back through time You know it's clear that I've been blind I've been a fool To ever open up my heart To all that jealousy, that bitterness, that ridicule Saturday I'm running wild And all the lights are changing red to green Moving through the crowd I'm pushing Chemicals all rushing through my bloodstream Only wish that you were here You know I'm seeing it so clear I've been afraid To tell you how I really feel Admit to some of those bad mistakes I've made Sunday all the lights of London Shining , Sky is fading red to blue I'm kicking through the Autumn leaves And wondering where it is you might be going to Turning back for home You know I'm feeling so alone I can't believe Climbing on the stair I turn around to see you smiling there In front of me If you want it Come and get it Crying out loud The love that I was Giving you was Never in doubt And feel it now Let go your heart Let go your head And feel it now

Nice...I use the same template myself since its nice n basic and I have no ftp access or the time/inclination/photoshop to design something better. Hi, I'm LinkMonkey. Have some nice juicy links. Yum yum. You eat and feel good, just like the Kompressor song says. If you live in Iowa and bought Win98, get yer money back Almost as good as Big Brother, Brazilians have been watching video from American spyplanes for the last 6 months over the Middle East. Now showing at 6pm, that new great show, BOMB THE RAGHEADS...a classic and something for the whole family Hector has knocked up 3 girls in his gang. Hector's gang has 27 people in it. What percentage did Hector knock up - and other great tests from this California Math test. --Cheers

As most of you know, my PC crashed. Well I lost the registration code to WebcamXP. Can someone e-mail me with the reg code I let you guys have? BTW Steve, when I get it back I'll give it to you too.

FUCKING BLOGGER TIME FIX THYSELF! I didn't post when you said I did. I posted much earlier.

This is up here as an experiment to see how it goes. If people start to think I'm gay (more than they already do), I'll take it down and try again.

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Here's the score: I love Jenny. I have since the 4th day I met her. My problem was I was scared to commit. So we seperated. After striking out on my own I came to the conclusion that she was the only one for me. But while we were seperated I kept things from her that I shouldn't have. I did things that I shouldn't have. Now I'm afraid she won't ever speak to me again. I've enjoyed my share of female company while separated from her, whether it was just friendship or something more intimate. Sure we had a good time, and I think, for the most part, you're good people. However, I couldn't see myself with anyone but her in the long run. I can't see myself without her. Now I have to make things better.

On trial for paper plane attack on US embassy

A while back, I read this story (don't remember where -- I think it may have been 'Computer Stupidities' on rinkworks.com or some such place) about a fellow who wanted to network his PC with that of a friend who lived in an apartment directly across the street from his window. They ran a regular 10Base-T crossover cable from one computer, out the window and across the street, straight into the friend's window and then into their computer. I guess they thought they were high enough up, floor-wise, that vehicle traffic in the street below would not be a problem. They were soon proved very wrong. The setup worked just fine until, one day, this guy's computer literally flew straight out the window in mid-type (his friend's computer was saved when the network cable snapped). It seems that a good-sized truck, with a nice tall exhaust stack, had passed by and snagged the network cable as neatly as any fighter jet's arresting hook would snag the braking cable on an aircraft carrier. Is that taking 'mobile computing' just a bit far, or what? ;-)

Here is the mug shot for Kimberly King who was arrested Wednesday (6/12) by Pickens County, Alabama cops and charged with attempted murder after she slashed her boyfriend with a knife and repeatedly stabbed him in the buttocks and rectum.

I went home sick today from food poisoning. Won't be posting much. I'll be too busy puking out my lungs and shitting out my large intestine. Update: I slept from 9:30am until 4pm and I'm feelng alot better.

Damn, check out what garfield looked like in 1978.

LONDON (Wireless Flash) -- Sexual harassment schmarassment. That's what working women in Britain are saying in a new poll. The survey by "Top Sante" magazine shows 80 percent of working lassies would feel flattered and laugh it off if a male co-worker or boss made a pass at them. What's more, 61 percent think flirting at work is good for their health and self-confidence.

Is It Better To Be a Jock or a Nerd? Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not. $ If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head. $ If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there. $ If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it. $ He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage. $ He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends. $ If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours. $ If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second. $ He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round. $ Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st. $ If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year. $ He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon. $ While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600. $ This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined. Amazing isn't it? However... $ If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 450 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today. $$$ Game over. Nerd wins. What can you do???

Life's too short not to forgive. Why stay mad at someone if they're sorry? Today has been a day of forgiveness, on both sides; mine and theirs.

Hot topics new stuff this is my fav. store for good reason

Blue French Fries Coming To Store Near You The new line of chocolate, cinnamon sugar and even blue french fries are ready for an appearance on your snack or dinner table.

Police shocked by a castration that went awry - goes to show that you shouldn't laugh when you get your balls cut off.

I like to get drunk and hump things lick my nuts I only do what the voices in my pants tell me steal from corporate america don't make me fuck you up eat fuck The best of punkassgear.com's t-shirt line

Yes, yes I do.

"...I'll make thee eat iron like an ostrich, and swallow my sword like a great pin, ere thou an I part." This is great stuff to learn while I have a lot of spare time on my hands and a toothbrush.

The Why's of Men......... 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (because they are plugged into a genius) 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY? (they don't have enough time) 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM JUST TO TRY TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions) 4. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn) 5. WHY DON'T WOMEN HAVE MEN'S BRAINS? (because they don't have penises to put them in) 6. WHAT DO ELECTRIC TRAINS AND WOMEN'S BREASTS HAVE IN COMMON? (they're intended for children, but men usually play with them) 7. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock) 8. WHY DO MEN MASTURBATE? (it is sex with someone they love) 9. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS ? (so they won't hump women's legs at parties) 10. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy) 11. WHY IS A MAN'S PEE YELLOW AND HIS SPERM WHITE? (so he can tell if he's coming or going) 12. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (don't know...... it's never happened)

Yuma High School: Home of the criminals.

More definitions! 1) Intimacy: A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction. 2) Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers, and springs, and believes it to be civilization. 3) Irreligion: The principal one of the great faiths of the world. 4) Itch: The patriotism of a Scotchman. 5) Kill: To create vacancy without nominating a successor. 6) Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland. 7) Kiss: A word invented by poets as a rhyme for "bliss". It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding. 8) Kleptomaniac: A rich thief. 9) Learning: The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious. 10) Liberty: One if imaginations most precious possessions. 11) Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage or removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. 12) Marriage: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. 13) Peace: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. 14) Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited. 15) Truthful: Dumb and illiterate. 16) Wedding: A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car. Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again. The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer... (check comments)

Top Southern Baptist leaders Tuesday stood behind a former president of the denomination who called the prophet Mohammed, founder of Islam, "a demon-possessed pedophile."

Earth-Mars Interplanetary Rapid Transit System

So Justin, how many girls are you cheating on?

PC IS DEAD.
Could be motherboard or hard drive or both. I cannot afford anything until Friday. If I meant to talk to you or e-mail you, it will have to wait until I am at work later on this morning.

i am



what poo are you?

"Although completely free of charge, prospective joyriders must promise to bring a partner and make love in the back seat behind the discreetly smoke-coloured windows."

Feel Wife's Breasts If You Pay For Boob Job.

AOL COO says that AOL will eventually be pulling $159 per household in fees and services.

In case anybody missed the Onion.

QUICK 96FM ...only the Best Parts of your Favorite Songs "QUICK 96 was designed to address the short attention span of today's busy music fan," said New Century Media President and General Manager, Michele Grosenick. "'QUICK 96' will feature an active library of more than 11,000 songs. 'QUICK 96' is truly the most variety of music ever heard on Seattle Radio. Each day you'll hear the Best Country, Top 40, Rock and Adult Hits and lots more of them."

Play the Osbournes like the Sims. Break things, swear at the kids, and make the animals poo.

Cops turn charity ball into a �drunken orgy"

324-square-foot Tokyo house sells for $118,000

Free shots and topless babes... why can't our elections be this cool!?!

This should give Justin a boner

i am



what sexual performer are you?

technology and culture, from the trenches

I can't think of anything for this: no comment

i am



what microsoft OS are you?

I am legally insane. Take the test to find out if you are.

Dark Elf RealDoll(tm) for EQ players

Traffic jams and even supermarket queues could be a thing of the past thanks to the biggest transport breakthrough since the wheel. If Sean Hayward and Hisa-aki Shinkai of the Woman's Unicersity in Korea are proved correct then we could soon be getting to work by stepping into a quantum worm-hole. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, there are tiny worm-holes all around us, offering a cheap shortcut to another part of the universe. The only reason we don't get sucked in by these ever-present gaps in the time-space continuum is that each one is smaller than a single electron. But, according to recent research, the size of worm-holes can be enlarged by the simple addition of negative energy. At the moment it's a delicate operation - not enough negative energy and your short-cut to work could collapse into a black hole which would consume the known galaxy, too much and it could turn into a whole new universe which would expand at the speed of light and blow our one into smithereens. Still, scientists are hopeful they will have the micro-calculations worked out soon and, until the standard of service on British Railways improves substantially, it could be a rish worth taking.

Duct Tape Prom, sounds like my kind of dance.

My webcam is on my fan. Now I'm ultra-geek! Plus you can see the whole room.

The mayor of Tecumseh is in trouble with the law for allegedly providing beer to minors at a party on Tecumseh school property.

Beijing's most popular newspaper has unwittingly republished a bogus story about U.S. Congress threats to skip town for Memphis or Charlotte unless Washington builds them a new Capitol building with a retractable dome.

Sex Lines... 01) "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." - Tom Clancy 02) "You know that 'look' women get when they want sex? Me neither." - Steve Martin 03) "Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned good." - Drew Carey 04) "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." - Woody Allen 05) "If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all." - Rodney Dangerfield 06) "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."- Woody Allen 07) "I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty." - George Burns 08) "It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." - Matt Barry 09) "Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist." - Camille Paglia 10) "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." - George Burns 11) "Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." - Henry Miller 12) "The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision." - Lynn Lavner 13)"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 300SL convertible." - Unknown

MOOGLE Squaresoft should garnish my wages and get it over with.

From sidekick to queen the evolution of Natalie Portman

E.W. "Bill" Ingram, White Castle's president and chief executive officer � and grandson of Miseta's original boss � said Miseta would receive the company's first-ever 60-year pin. She was there for 60 fucking years and all she gets is a damn pin!

Pest control company removes 20-foot beehive from home, says it's a little bigger than they usually see.

Cyborgs here we come!

"Stomberg made the false promise as a practical joke, so that persons who responded to the announcement with the intention of receiving tattoos could be publicly scorned and ridiculed for their greed and lack of common good sense,".... and now two guys have "93.5 KORB" on their foreheads.

Trillian 0.73 Release

Getcher credit cards here, people!

Star Wars beauty Natalie Portman has admitted she's been thinking about sex ever since she was a young child. The 20 year old actress, who plays Senator Amidala in the film series, told Rolling Stone magazine that she had a large collection of dolls when she was growing up. And she said: "I remember them being very sexual. I don't remember ever not having my dolls have sex with each other." The actress says that she would continually rub her dolls against one another. She recalled: "All my dolls would get it on together. Even the Barbies would get it on with the other Barbies and the guys would also get it on." Portman, who has been dating her hunky co-star Hayden Christensen, added: "My bath toys also had sex."

Let it be known:
sppirt: i'll buff my pickle on cam the minute people start putting in credit card numbers

Exerpts from The Devils Dictionary -Ambrose Bierce 1)April Fool: The March fool with another month added to his folly. 2)Ambition: An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead. 3)Ambidextruous: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left 4)Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. 5)Brandy: A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightening, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave, and four parts clarified Satan. Dose, a headful all the time. 6)Cat: A soft, indestructable automan provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle. 7)Court Fool: The plaintiff. 8)Craft: A fool's substitute for brains. 9)Debt: An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave-driver. 10)Destiny: A tyrants authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. 11)Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel. 12)Fashion: A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey. Like these..Get the book.

It is time to choose Between your own impotence And your Godliness

If you think you know me, rethink that.

"Okay, just hold still and stick out your bellybutton..."

The meanings and lyrics to all of Beck's songs

Are these flowers computer generated or are they real?

Can you imagine one of these in a webcam house?

Company asks people to hack thier web site because the only guy who knew the password died

Prisoner receives a dinner invite with Dick Cheney and President Bush.

Cop responds to accident scene, driver in accident goes to hospital, cop eats driver's McSandwich.

This is why I miss being at the Corporate Office: "Today Sasquatch got the full wrath of Cory. I thought dude's head was going to pop like some Dig Dug villain." The name "Sasquatch" is the nickname he gave the guy who took my place there. I like the guy, but its still funny.

Swimmers have been warned to stay away from a sexually frustrated dolphin off an English seaside resort after it tried to lure unwary humans out to sea in a bid to mate with them.

After the murder of a 15-year-old girl the 'Scream' trilogy is banned in France

I found this on Steve's site.

American wins a game in the World Cup! (We have a soccer team?)

Don't date sluts, says Playboy. Mousy girls are more likely to sit on your face !

Momento Special Edition DVD: --Insert Disc two from the Limited Edition set, then select the clock. --Select answer "c" 5 times (The actual answers have nothing to do with the navigation) --When you reach the question where you put the pictures in order of the woman fixing her tire, put them in REVERSE order (3, 4, 1, 2), rather than the correct order, and you will be taken to the Chronological version of the film, complete with backwards credits and the opening scene in forward motion. ***Note: This feature worked on my laptop, my Sony DVD, and my Pioneer DVD, however it did NOT work on my Toshiba for some reason...It just played the credits backwards, then the movie in the original order....so I'd be interested to hear from others with Toshiba's to see if this feature worked on their players...***

When asked why he will not renounce first use of nuclear weapons, Pakistani President says it's because he plans to use them at some point, just like any other country that has them

"But the proposal would allow priests who molested only once in the past to continue in the ministry, under certain conditions..."Translation? Your first kid's on us. The rest will cost ya.

I give you:Ashley Judd's tits.

wooooooooooo Mandrake on your XBox!

Florida can't find 1,000 of it's children that are in state custody. Meanwhile South Florida's Child Slave Labor economy is booming.

Flipper becomes catholic!

California wants to raise smoking age to 21

On Monday, June 10th, the Moon will glide in front of the Sun as it sets over parts of North America.

Retarded Girls Of America Online

Now I'm not actively looking to date anyone new. But I thought for those of you who are you might like it. I saw a few screenshots and it looks pretty cool. Download it here and tell me what you think.

Kenyan tribe donates 14 cattle to U.S. in sympathy of 9/11.

Stripper Mom's Playboy Pics. (NOT SAFE FOR WORK)

Jesus loves you...and prehistoric nuclear bombs.

Need I say more?

Crystal Pepsi!

A treasure trove of 19th century pornography found during renovations at the White House belonged to our revered 16th president, Abraham Lincoln, stunned historians report.

3-D Map of the Earth created 120 millions of years ago.

From the Vagina Monologues: If your vagina got dressed, what would it wear? If your vagina could talk, what would it say, in two words?

I don't know who the guy is, but I'd be goin' to church too.

Kiss Condoms: They're labelled "Tongue Lubricated", and the foil wrapper features bass player Gene Simmons in his trademark black and white makeup, with his famous tongue fully extended. I'm turned on already *snicker*

As if school lunches weren't bad enough

and in the future your house will crash too

I should have a site that has the most crap and least amount of content. This one would be in the running.

Because of this template my site will never be the hardest.

guh-guh-guh! *nut*

Coming to a friendly ATM near you