Your Baby Instruction Manual

Your baby is a delicate and easily damaged piece of equipment. Although babies are quite resilient to minor injuries, any permanent damage such as lost limbs or severe head trauma will greatly reduce the base value of your child as well as its future earning potential. BlackMarketBabies.com suggests you follow these safety guidelines until you baby is at least two and a half years old: -DO NOT leave you baby unattended around crocodiles, dingoes, anthills, wet cement, quicksand, or catapults. -Though babies quickly learn to walk and talk, driving is a skill which takes many years to master. Do not even permit your baby to just steer. This is especially important when your baby has been drinking. Feeding: Babies should never be given any sort of alcoholic beverage unless they�ve been crying for a really long time. Unlike some pets, babies must be fed EVERY DAY. And never, NEVER feed your baby after midnight.