Sweet Jesus!

"Suggested usage: tourist attraction, ocean-restaurant, museum, amusement park, hotel-on-the-ocean, etc."

:-D

Update your imoods people.

New Years

I have the "not so fresh" feeling.

Don't ever try to objectionably figure yourself out. I promise you no one will like what you find.

"It is our right as Americans to sleep with two girls at the same time."

...and it was written by a woman too...

Hop-along Cassidy

The verdict is in on my foot. It's a stress fracture. That'll teach my fat ass to run.

...if I could only stop my mind from wondering what I left behind and wondering if its all been waisted time.

Friday night I drove to my grandparents for the weekend. It's been almost 10 years since i've seen them. He's still as fiesty at 80 as he was at 70. I have the feeling I won't see my grandmother again. She's not doing well lately. I was sick the entire trip and I spent a majority of my time on the farm asleep. Which was fine because it was boring there. I love them but they are too old fashioned for me. My grandmother is in her last year (I think) and my grand father still makes her go get him his tea. There was someone I had wanted them to meet. Too bad things didn't work out. I couldn't help thinking about it. Which leads me to my next topic.

Everyone in my parents' town and my dad's side of the family who are my age are married. There is an unspoken pressure to get married here. It's just another way to be odd man out. I just keep telling myself that things will be different when I get a place in Dallas. Dallas itself is alot like Vegas. They have RHPS and strip clubs and everything I miss about Vegas (except the people).

I've spent alot of time looking at myself objectively. It's harder to do than you think. I had plenty of time to do it while visiting in Assfuck, Texas. I've learned something about myself that I will work on changing.

10 technologies to watch in 2004

Gecko tape: Lizards climb walls using the mechanical adhesive force of millions of tiny hairs on their feet. A synthetic version of those microscopic hairs allows gecko tape, developed at England's University of Manchester, to stick to almost any surface without glue. Applications include gloves that allow a person to climb a glass wall, the ability to move computer chips in a vacuum, and new bandages.

Mad Cow Disease

Jew: and her man is fat as well...haha Me: this is true Me: but he is a victim so I'm nice to him Me: I figure he's taking one for all of humanity Me: by keeping her from fucking and spreading her funk everywhere Me: so there is a silent respect there. It's not about you. It's about the one we mutually dislike.

Your halo is slipping down...to choke you now.

I've found I've changed from who I was when I left. I can't tell you if it is for the better or not. We'll see when I visit Vegas again. Its my way of gauging how/if I've changed.

I'm too sexy for in my shirt.

I got a $50 gift certificate from a store called Foleys here in Dallas for my birthday. I bought two shirts. I tried on one shirt and I cought myself feeling myself up. So yea, I got the shirt.

Add me to the injured roster...

No more running for a while. I've managed to hurt my foot AGAIN. This time it's a bruised heel stress fracture. Only a week or so before my first marathon too. :( Thanks Suzannah for showing me this. Everyone should give it a try. If not for the fitness then for the stamina. ;)

I wanna take you baby I wanna take you out I wanna wine and dine you Oh I wanna twist and twist and shout I want you hot in my arms So soft on my bed You get the key to my heart Oh when you wear that sweet dress I want your rough house baby I want this right in your ear You let me feel your danger I let you make this feeling clear here I want the touch of your charms The heat of your breath I wanna say all those things That would be better unsaid

My parents are nuts

They believe in a "gay agenda"

Happy Birthday Kim!

My TRUE first love.

Tonight I go to bed without the company of a friendly voice.

Bloodninja & Cyber

Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.

EEEEWWW

NSFW

Happy Birthday Windy.

Hello. Is it me you're looking for?

It's Incubus covering Lionel Richie.

Mormons crazy? Nahh...

"The church flatly rejects allegations that it is buying the names of dead souls, and insists the effort in Russia is aimed only at providing an archive of genealogical data for the good of all mankind. "

It's the boob girl!

Click the other buttons to see the rest of what she does.

It's funny who things can fall together like that.

"I hope you never reproduce, because you are a genetic freak whose features don't even match up and nobody should breed with you."

Because I'm bored...

Yay Ireland!

Now here this:

I have an inferiority complex. That is all.

I got the job.*

It's for 2 to 4 weeks @ $35/hr. It looks good on a resume. *I love linking to my own shit.

So yummy and so not safe for work...

Masturbating to Selma Blair is like masturbating to a concentration camp filmstrip. "After its defeat in World War I, Germany was FAP FAP FAP humiliated by the Versailles Treaty, which reduced its prewar FAP FAP FAP territory, drastically reduced its FAP FAP FAP armed FAP FAP FAP forces, demanded the recognition of its guilt for the war, and stipulated FAP FAP FAP it pay FAP FAP FAP reparations to the allied powers. FAP FAP FAPOH OH GOD" Mein Godin Himmel! Mein penis hat explodiert!

Sometimes things don't suck.

This is a chain of emails so start from the bottom kids...

Justin, I do appreciate your honesty. I still want to submit your resume to Tom and let him make the determination based on your credentials and not your age. Albert -----Original Message----- From: Justin D. Coffi [mailto:] Sent: Wednesday, December 03, 2003 3:52 PM To: Albert Gonzales Subject: RE: Nice talking to you Albert, Regardless of my experience and ability to perform a job duty, I would NOT make a very good consultant for this job. Because you see, I�m only 23. Customers want a consultant who they can instantly have faith in. When people are naturally skeptical of my abilities I cannot produce work I am proud of. I have to spend time winning the client over. Since this is a quick project I would spend a majority of the time dealing with skepticism and not being focused on the task at hand. I do not want to take a job where everyone is not on the same page. So I�m catching you up to speed and filling you in. I could not have gotten to where I am so quickly by making hasty decisions. I did attach my resume as promised if you are willing to take the risk. Justin Coffi MCSE NT4, MCSE 2000, CCA, DCT -----Original Message----- From: Albert Gonzales [mailto: ] Sent: Wed 12/3/2003 2:29 PM To: Justin D. Coffi Cc: Subject: Nice talking to you Justin, As we discussed make sure you document to me the network assessment experience and tools. Network engineer with experience in the following: System administration experience LAN/WAN Exchange 2000 Disaster recovery planning CITRIX Candidate will be responsible for evaluating and documenting our clients infrastructure, including hardware, software, versions, patches, etc. This is phase I of the project. The next phase won't start till mid-Jan which will be creation of their disaster recovery plan. Albert Gonzales Sr. Technical Recruiter XXXX Solutions, Inc. Dallas, Texas 75244 972.XXX.1700 office/Ext 1125 888.XXX.2332 toll-free www.XXXXsolutions.com IT SOLUTIONS FOR BUSINESS AND GOVERNMENT Dallas / Austin / Houston / Atlanta / Boston / Palo Alto / Phoenix / Washington D.C. / Hyderabad, India

All the fatties move to Portland!

"Women seem to want pretty much the same: a bold, assertive flirtatious non-smoking social drinker who has dark brown hair, an average body and a college degree -- who likes to dance"

Your Purity Test Results!

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
Category	Your Score	Average
Self-Lovin'	23.3% I wouldn't shake hands, if I were you	65%
Shamelessness	59.5% It takes a couple of drinks	79.3%
Sex Drive	42.1% I got needs, baby, you gotta unnastan'!	77.7%
Straightness	3.6% Knows the other body type like a map	44.9%
Gayness	98.2% Repressed, are we?	83.3%
Fucking Sick	79.6% Refreshingly normal	89.9%
You are 51.92% pure Average Score: 72.6%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test and see how you match up!

Politics 101

Republicans, Democrats -- they all have their own special interests they want us the taxpayers to fund in some way or another.

Amen to that.

Why Texans are so damn proud to be from Texas...

If Texas left the Union it would have the worlds third largest army.

Great idea

wolf: 1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A wolf: 2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B wolf: 3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business Reply Mail Envelope. wolf: 4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold in your hand. wolf: 5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away whistling. wolf: I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me. wolf: Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.

Oh oh look what I found!

Online Change of Address Form

GameFAQs: Tripps

not me

tripps - Personals Dating Relationships and Romance

not me

I got a response from someone about my last post. My family came over in 1887 (Irish side) and 1902 (Sicilian) side. My ancestors never took shit from the Native Americans.

From the mouth of reggaejunkiejew:

we stole this land from our Native American brothers in the name of "premanifistation" and then we celebrate some hyprocritical feast of peace. Where was the turkey dinner during the Trail of Tears? Where was the cranberry sauce during free "Small Pox Blankets" day? I tell you something the native americans couldn't eat, beads and that's what we gave them, beads.

The most boring story I've ever posted...

..but really important to those of use looking for jobs.

From the depths of bitter to the shores of melancholy

I was going to make a bitter post about how I'm happy that I don't fit an image and that I'm not cool. But then I checked my yummynuggets e-mail and found an e-mail someone had sent me on Saturday. It brightened my mood. In response to the e-mail:

I'll do my best to see that I make it back to Vegas for New Years. After all, now you owe me.

Here's an interesting idea, a blacklist.

lies all lies

Thank you. I've never had someone say such kind words.

Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat

When I saw this movie being sold out by just about everyone I decided against seeing it. Check out the reviews on it. It received .36 stars out of 5. Nice huh? If you think I'm not seeing it for the reviews think again. I said I would never see Titanic. I will go to my grave ignorant of that movies' idiocies.

small update

My foot doesn't hurt. I'm going camping for the weekend. Nothing else is new. I miss home. I'm not much for typing tonight. Sorry kids.

Home and self esteem

The longer I'm home the more my self esteem turns to shit. Reason? Here there is no need for one. Because I know I'm not leaving this house. I need to fight this feeling.

oh oh oh

Isn't that cute...

I made my first "Dallas friend" today. He's only been in Dallas for a month or so. His name is Nathan. He's bored and I'm bored. We're both stuck in the ultra-wealthy neighborhood and neither of us have money. He works at Wal-mart and drives a 90 Honda CRX. I do nothing and drive nothing. I can't really drive with a lame foot. What is with me and Wal-mart? He's the third person I know who has worked at Wal-mart while I knew them. I really think our friendship is one of convenience. As soon as we meet other people we'll probably stop hanging out. He's a nice guy I just don't think he and I have a lot in common.

"The job" is going to let me know by the end of the week. Even if they change their mind and choose someone else, I still have an interview tomorrow with RHT. They have something for about 20K less than the cool job. That's still good money so I'm not gonna bitch.

With my foot throbbing like it is, it's times like this that I wish I had a girlfriend. This imaginary girl only came around when I wanted affection. The problem with being single is that you can't cuddle with a girl without implying something more. The problem is having a girlfriend is that you lose some freedoms. I'm at the point now where I'm not ready to give up my freedoms but want someone to be close to. This is the critical point where I tend to get into a relationship prematurely. So I'm thinking, maybe when I've been in my own place for a few months I'll really start to consider trying again. After the pain I felt over the last one I think things will be a little bit different. I don't care if she donates a kidney, I'm not going tell myself "maybe she's it". If she was it, I wouldn't wonder.

Anyone else notice how long my posts have gotten since I got here? It's because I have nothing better to do. I have plenty of time to sit and ponder. If you're actually reading this thing drop me a line jcoffi(at)hotmail(dot)com. Even if I know you. At least then I know I'm not writing to noone.

My days of tap are over...

I just got back from the hospital. I cut my foot open running. I received 7 stitches. I'm not typing anymore because it hurts and therefore I'm cranky.

Just a glimpse into my rear view mirror...

There are people and things I miss from my past. I miss:

lying in my moms lap.

fishing with my dad.

Kim's tenderness.

Windy's passion.

Natalie's whispers.

Jenny's love.

summers at the park.

my koolaid stands.

hanging out with Mark and Rich and Rusty.

the monthly parties with Aimee and Steve. It wasn't a party unless the trifecta was present.

me and Greg's adventures.

my non-job.

This isn't to say the best of my life is past me. I don't believe that for a second. I just felt like paying homage to my past. The first 8 years of my life were bad enough to write a book about. The next 10 were hard but only because I made them that way. Since then my life has had it's ups and downs. I miss alot of people and alot of things. Some people I'm not ready to tell and others aren't ready to hear it.

Science is my religion...

I've come to realize that there is one major reason I can't seem to fall in line with organized religion. What it boils down to is faith. I don't have faith. Faith is belief without proof. I'm very open minded but I can't seem to get myself to believe in something I can't prove to be true. If you show me Jesus I will bow down and worship. If Allah comes down and blesses me I will jihad against my infidels. If I see an angel I will put an acorn in my hat and get me some wives. I remain where I am because I have not been shown otherwise.

This is why science is my religion. My bible-my karan is math. I can prove the existance of science through math and math through science. It's ironic though, that secular logic can be used to prove and disprove God. My faith is logic. Spock? No. But when I rest my head at night I know that what I know is true because logic dictates it so.

Interesting thought...

If you think about it, if it were 1280 A.D. and HIV were to come around the human race would be gone by 1400 A.D.

First Dallas Update

My trip here sucked. Here's why:

The truck wouldn't go over 50mph.

The truck had the gas milage of a poorly tuned S.U.V. (10 miles per gallon).

The cat felt the dashboard in front of the steering wheel was his personal resting spot.

It rained all night, every night, all the way to Dallas.

I was sad that I was leaving everyone behind.

I've made it in. I'll post more later.

I'm leaving sometime today. If you want to see me you'll have to find me while I'm running around. Call me 702-325-4191

HELP PLEASE

IF YOU OR ANYONE YOU KNOW HAS A TRUCK I COULD USE SOME HELP ASAP. I HAVE SOME STUFF I NEED TO TAKE TO THE DUMP. OH AND I NEED A RIDE TOO. ILL BUY THEM FOOD. CALL ME Got it taken care of.

I made it all by myself.

Thank you for calling AOL movie phone.

Did you ever know that you're my hero?

Tripps: know anyone who wants my dual 800mhz, my monitor and my printer for $1000? Jew: not that I can think of Jew: I thought you were going to ebay them Tripps: nah Jew: well..if you can't find anybody to buy them, I will be more than happy to let you give them to me for free Jew: because I am feeling that generous Tripps: yea yea yea Jew: don't concern yourself with how I can do such a thing, I will bear the weight of it Tripps: *sniff* my hero Jew: I will be your hero, I will wash away the pain

See I KNEW it!

ThisisLondon: "Men have long suspected it, but scientists have proved that women are incapable of rational thought during a shopping spree. "

awww...how cute...

This could have been me @ 9 months...

From a Fark.com comment...

Having good looks or lots of money are just crutches... It makes it EASY to get hotties, but guess what they are after? That's fine for sex, but "the grass is always greener" and even the most over-sexed guys will eventually yearn for someone to connect with on a different level. I was one of the lucky ones who skipped right over repetitively meaningless sex with hundreds of hard-bodied co-eds and went straight into marriage with my soul-mate.

...say it over-and-over and it sounds more and more true...

Happy B-day

I'm so lazy I'm not going to make the joke again this year.

Logic

blog.postmodernvillage.com: All This Defies Logic: "Logic, I've decided, is a hobbyhorse; it is, in the immortal words of Mr. Spock, 'a wreath of pretty flowers which smell bad.' Logic, like its cousin mathematics, is a theoretical construct that exists solely on its own terms. Only when a real-world situation can be conveniently or artificially simplified to its most basic parts can logic be applied to it. And even then only rarely."

Not quiet as good as the real thing...

...but here is what Tycho and Gabe really look like.

Terror Level

Don't ask...

"...'hey lets sing happy birthday' instead it was 'hey lets string you up and let to senior citizens whip you'"

Hmmm....interesting.

WTF?!?

Are you wearing your special underwear? I am.

Are there any sexual positions that are particularly likely to impregnate a woman? Matthew Dear Matthew, While there are no positions that guarantee to impregnate your woman, there are some that will increase the odds. The missionary position, with her legs wrapped around your shoulders, is your best bet, as it allows your seminal fluids to go directly into her cervical opening. Positions with her on top are to be avoided, as they create a downward flow for the semen. Best of luck! D. Zimmer

Oops!

EXTREME!!!

I went to this halloween party with Windy last night. She was a can-can dancer and I was Marilyn Monroe. I'll have pictures up by Monday. We were talking to some people. When we walked away she said "You're the most extreme person I know." I pondered that. I can think of things that people do that are more extreme than what I've done.

Look at the red red changes in the sky Look at the separation in the border line But don't look at everything here inside And be afraid to speak your mind

Weather as a Blog

Maybe I should add this somewhere...

Verisimilitude

Sometimes The Truth Hurts: "I don't find your kids or their behavior particularly cute. In fact, I think your kids are hideously ugly. Your children are whining, crying, rude, nasty, deformed looking little brats that smell like shit and are in serious need of a good, sound beating. I would brutally murder your children and tack their dried skins on my wall as a trophy if I could get away with it. Trust me. "

Tripps: "If your mother is a domino, and your father is a toaster oven, how many flapjacks would it take a monkey to shingle a doghouse?"
Kim: 17 trucks and an infantry squad
Tripps: CORRECT!

IMPORTANT NEWS: My Plans' F.A.Q.

I've spent the last few days deciding how and when I was going to tell everyone this. Should I be: dramatic? romantic? brief? longwinded? I'm moving from Las Vegas for good. I've waited until now because it wasn't set in stone. Now it is. I'm following another dream of mine. I've learned that in life you should live to enjoy. There is nothing more fulfilling than following a dream. What about the business? I've sold it. What about the house? I'm leasing it out on a 4 year lease with an option to buy. What about your mom? She's handling her business and will be just fine. She's going back to Reno. What is this dream of yours? When someone asks what I do for a living I could say "I'm sorry that's classified." I want to spook for a 3 letter agency. But how? I made some inquiries as to what would help me to accomplish these goals. They said, a degree, military experience, and top secret clearance. How do you plan on getting those? With http://www.goarmy.com/jobs/print/mos96B.htm . (Sorry for the no link but it messes up the RSS.) Kinda vague isn't it? Yea, I've had a hard time finding anything out. My job function is top secret. Are you serious? Yes. I'm already signed. My T.S. clearance is pending. For how long? When you get T.S. clearance they require 4 years. Could you back out? Sure, but I'm not going to. When do you leave? I leave Vegas in a month or so. I leave for parts unknown in April. Where are you going from Nov./Dec. through April? I'm going to stay with my father. It may be one of the few times I'll see him in the next 4 years. Which, after being with him for 4 or 5 months, will be enough time for me to recoup and want to see him again. Why? I've always wanted to be apart of something bigger than myself. Something where my capabilities are stretched to the limits. Are you nuts? The jury is out on that one.

YAY!

Congrats to Vera for finally getting her cable modem. I'm glad I could help.

This just in:

I, my friends, am an absent minded idiot.

Funny thing:

If I have sex with you and give you a dollar that's illegal. If I give you a cheeseburger it's a date.

Count Pimpula

Count Pimpula

RSS (for blog only)

WAS: http://www.yummynuggets.com/yn_rss.xml IS: http://www.yummynuggets.com/rss.xml This makes it easier for random spiders to cache this wonderful blog.

Search terms used to find this site.

Rank	Search Terms
1	penis
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Most original rejection line:

"Sorry I'm already homeless."

I was right then. I'm still right now.

They are my friends. -- You Friends don't do that do each other. Ever. -- Me

P.S. - I know it's not what you need right now but I feel justified in saying it.

I'm gonna need a good seat for this...

My ass pads are ready.

I'm baaaaaaaack....

I went to Southern California for the weekend. I posted some picks here. Enjoy them. Please take notice of the man with the spear. He is my friend.

I have something to admit. I'm afraid to put good things up here. There are so many people out there who want me to fail and be unhappy that I don't want to fan any coals by saying I'm happy. I'm happier now than I have been in years. Odd huh? I think so. I mean I get annoyed and bitter on occasion but overall I'm good. Here are some reasons:

2 life long friends I have only begun to appreciate. Thanks Greg and Windy.

I'm making friends that could last a lifetime.

I'm thinner than I have been since high school.

I've been lifting some weights. Not to bulk up, but to remove "extra space" after losing all that weight. So far so good.

Win or lose, I'm doing the things I've wanted to do.

I have my mother near me.

Jenny is happy. Believe it or not that makes me feel better and loosens up some tension.

I've found several places to get drink and dance (and occasionally sing) at a cheap price.

I'm having a good hair month. There are more but I'm drawing a blank. Maybe I'll add more later.

Animal Planet

Cows Go Wild: "'It is vital that you are seen by the cow, speak softly to it and avoid running or making sudden movements.'"

Sleeping-monkey.com

Sleeping-monkey.com: "Cause if you think this guy was tappin dat retarded ass a couple years ago he would have ever asked her to marry him? HELL no, he would have would have stuck it in, flipped her over, spanked her ass, taken a couple pictured for the memory bank, then sent the bitch on her way back home on the little bus."

Bitch, Gripe, Moan

I have a bitch. When a friend is in need I try to help. Sometimes it benefits me and sometimes it doesn't. I don't do it for the benefit. I do it because this person is my friend and I know he/she would might do the same for me. When I have the money, I give (or loan depending on my situation) it. So when a friend is in trouble wether it be financially. emotionally, or legally, I try and help. I have to admit it bothers me a little when they turn down my advice. But it REALLY pisses me off when they completely ignore it. Accept it or don't, but don't make me feel that what I have to say isn't worth your time.

Warning!

Toilets: May cause anal leakage. Credit: Red

Changes are coming...

In the next month or two my life is going to be altered. It has yet to be determined whether this change will be for the better. I'm confident if anything goes right that it will be. You know, I really don't like being cryptic it's just that I don't want to get anyone all worked up for something that may not be happening. As soon as I know, I'll make sure those who need to know, will know. Sometimes when I sit and think people ask me what I'm thinking. Most of the time I don't like to share. Sometimes I do. When I have one that I want to share I put it into my Rants and Raves blog. This is a hidden blog that doesn't get published. This one seems to be on topic with the theme for the last few months so I thought I would share:

To know oneself is tougher than it seems. Because we sort of assume we know who we are. Mostly just the good stuff. And maybe scratch the surface of our faults. But to truly know oneself is a life long task, and even that may not be enough time. We tend to flatter ourselves, then criticize ourselves, without ever really getting to know ourselves. We go hot and cold, we're on again, off again, in a stormy love-hate relationship with our own selves. When our hearts stray, and we do things we really don't really intend, say things we don't really mean, we cover it up and we lie to ourselves and we grow distant from well... our own damn selves. Ah, if only we can remain true to who we are, and love who we are, and just be who we are, in spite of ourselves.

I spread my dick on some crackers...

Last night I walked the strip with a (just friends) female friend of mine. We were walking along and this guy says to her: "Hey baby, why don't you ditch the cheese dick and come back here and fuck me." I just flipped him the bird. We aren't romantically involved so I didn't know what actions were within my rights. My mom suggested that I should have confronted him. Not on the basis that I was defending "my girl" but that he was being disrespectful to my friend and I. I love my mom. She teaches me things.

True dat!

The number one cause of divorce is marriage.

Step #1 for a recovering slimeball...(and the last time I want to talk about it)

Jenny, I want you to be happy, no matter what that means. I hope you've found someone who will treat you with all the love you deserve. I hope he will see you always as I should have. I'm sorry. Justin

Witty little bumper isn't it?

I saw a bumper sticker that said: Well behaved women rarely make history. I like that.

I was wrong for posting what I did. I shouldn't have stooped to her level. Shows over folks, go home.

I'm not surprised...

She bashes me and talks of how she can't get over me. You can't purge two years of emotion with an ill intended letter. Now she's officially with someone else. If that's not a rebound, I don't know what is.

I'm not going to try and defend these alligations. (I changed my mind again) Some are the full truth, some are partial and some are out and out lies.

You're really jus- just too- just...too really...FUCK NO

I wanna take you baby
I wanna take you out
I wanna wine and dine you
I wanna twist and twist and shout
I want you hot in my arms
So soft on my bed
You get the key to my heart
When you wear that sweet dress
I want your rough house baby
I want this right in your ear
You let me feel your danger
I let you make this feeling clear here
I want the touch of your charms
The heat of your breath
I wanna say all those things
That would be better unsaid

Don't any of you fucks ask me why I'm mad...

I'm so enraged I can't even type out this long fucking post I have. FUCK

My apologies.

This is a public apology to Jenny. I want to say I'm sorry for the harsh e-mail I sent you. The e-mail that told you how I wanted your life to go. I take it back. I hope you have a good life and find happiness. I also hope you stay well grounded in "you" and don't let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn't like. I still don't want to talk to you. But I've been thinking about it and I feel bad for saying those things. So once again, I'm sorry.

I'm lobster man!

I'm going to make this quick. I went to the lake, had the time of my life. Pictures are in the gallery.

Downward Spiral

Just when you think you're OK life kicks you in the ass. Hard. This time I know it's not going to be ok.

R.E.M.

I went to REM last night. I don't know what it was but the sound system just sucked. I could only stay for like 5 songs before the feedback was too much. So all in all REM is a good band but the show sucked.

YN

I just have to say, I'm glad to see YN doing so well. I really am. This site wouldn't be what it is w/o the members. Thanks guys!

Re: Johnny Cash, 'Hurt'

Back in April, Trent made an appearance on CMT's Flameworthy 2003 Video Music Awards Tribute to Johnny Cash where he was honored as the" "Greatest Man in Country Music" He also offered this comment on the first time he witnessed the remaking of his song. "We were in the studio, getting ready to work -- and I popped it in," Reznor says. "By the end I was really on the verge of tears. I'm working with Zach de la Rocha, and I told him to take a look. At the end of it, there was just dead silence. There was, like, this moist clearing of our throats and then, 'Uh, OK, let's get some coffee.''

Cephus

I should be asleep, instead I'm on my PC. The pain killer my mother gave me is working great. I have a picture of the kitten to put up.

Damn it!

johnny cash - hurt (Nine Inch Nails Cover)- (repost)

I reposted this for 2 reasons. 1. He's dead now. 2. It won some VMA awards. 3. It just kicks all kinds of ass.

I got the kitten home. More on this later when I'm done loving on it.

The Only Time

i'm drunk. and right now i'm so in love with you. and i don't want to think too much about what we should or shouldn't do. lay my hands on Heaven and the sun and the moon and the stars. while the devil wants to fuck me in the back of his car. this is the only time i really feel alive

The blog is back.

I brought the blog back. I need a place where I could voice my opinion that wasn't going to interfere with the growth of YN as a whole.

Cool!

Like my balls...

Why can't "baby boomers" just hurry up and fucking die?

�Another thing they were interested in was in defecating and urinating all over the keyboard,�

Read it all here...

I hold conversations with the nicest people...

Quote - "czarina: I am trying to convince my ex boyfriend to let me punch fuck his ass."

By the time anyone actually reads this it'll be gone. But there is a bear wielding a penis on Jenny's webcam.

She was sitting there in the sunny lawn of Old Campus with thousands of other proud parents, waiting for the ceremonies to commence, when several students began passing out copies of the Yale Daily News. Thumbing through the pages, only half paying attention to what she was seeing, until she hits Section D and sees me in my glory, one-page wide, buck naked with my ass glowing like the moon. Horrified, she turned the paper over before anyone else could see, but her precautions were pointless; when she looked around she saw my ass multiplied a thousand times over as people all across the lawn opened their papers.

Blowjob it is....

Someone just got fired.

Now that's a Photoshop.

Peter Pan-ties

The conversations I'm privvy to...

|ndex| h0bbes sees himself as something of a penetration engineer and this is his way of exercising philanthropy |h0bbes| yes |h0bbes| since im broke |h0bbes| i cant give money |h0bbes| so i gave anal loving |h0bbes| all dya |h0bbes| day |h0bbes| and i also have this problem |ndex| he'll happily bend you over a straight backed chair and probe your ports all day long |@shaedow| hahah |h0bbes| i cant type my thoughts in one line |h0bbes| shaedow is a customer |h0bbes| i gave him a free sample and he never stopped coming back |ndex| h0bbes: it's all about the charity man |@shaedow| yeah and at .50 a shot |@shaedow| its easy |h0bbes| but shaedow is generally an ugly motherfucker, so i could stand taking his money, i was afraid it was gonna ruin my beautiful face |h0bbes| could/couldnt |ndex| I saw some clips yesterday of a chick getting plowed in half by some guy the size of a louisville slugger |h0bbes| gross. |h0bbes| you look at some fucked up porn |ndex| amazes me that they can smile through something like that |ndex| h0bbes: shuttup ho, just because it's not guys taking it in the ass |h0bbes| you ever had it in the butt ndex? is it that painful? |h0bbes| ive always been curious |ndex| I have to admit, gay pron has better looking guys in it though. It's a shame they're all sucking cock. |ndex| h0bbes: you're not serious. |h0bbes| no seriously |h0bbes| i mean if its embarassing to admit it |h0bbes| you dont have to answer |h0bbes| id do a chick in the butt, i never have |h0bbes| but ill try anything once |ndex| let me put it this way, there's more than one variable in that equation |h0bbes| so what, you give it in the butt with a shiny black strapon |ndex| h0bbes: see, that's what I mean by charity. You're selflessly willing to sacrifice your cock to give it to some chick in the ass. You're a prince, man. |@shaedow| in other words yes, she let pete violate her anus |h0bbes| hahah |@shaedow| i personally like assfucking a chick |@shaedow| its better when you make them blow you after |ndex| shaedow: how is it you can take a perfectly enjoyable topic, like anal sex, and turn it into something disgusting with one word |@shaedow| i have my talents

HybridXXX: good thing i had my pda with me! HybridXXX: before i went i set it to alert me every half hour saying "don't fuck anything unless you're sober"

Bomberman!

Things I miss from work:

spacebunnyXXX: well are you at least having fun too spacebunnyXXX: I would. At least cheap fun. spacebunnyXXX: banging chicks, creating a cult, raves till dawn spacebunnyXXX: hell I would create a banging chick cult that worships at raves till dawn. Please start the church.

mmm MMM mmm MMM

Looking for a date?

Get a date from here you loser.

Cornell Daily Sun: Going Down the Dirt Road

"One last warning: a drink or two to relax is ok, getting hammered and trying to have butt sex is not."

So THIS is how morons procreate...

how to get girls_into bed without lying

Secret Message

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Ohio School Suspends 1st-Grader For Having Plastic Knife

And, if the school insists on upholding the suspension, his parents reportedly will seek criminal charges against the school for supplying weapons to children.

How to Get Phone Numbers from Strippers

When Matt (Matt) finally gets sex.

Here I go, perpetuating gossip and bad press.

Fred Durst bangs cocaine-snorting bad girl, Britney Spears hahahahahah!

[iSONEWS]

[iSONEWS]

gross

In two days, an open sore in an eye, for example, will turn into a grapefruit-sized festering wound of raw, pulpy flesh. The larvae eat their way toward the victim's vital organs.

What does this have to do with butterflies?

Glamericans -- gay and lesbian Americans -- at anti-Iraq war protest where tens of thousands of marchers gathered at the Capitol dome

Search warez here:

Furry.

Vasey said it is clear the females are deriving sexual pleasure when they mount other females. In some positions, he said, a female will rub her clitoris against her partner's back, while in others, "it's common for females to masturbate with their tails" where there is no direct genital contact.

Give Me Nice Big Boobs!

Do you want to decide the fate of a college girl's chest? Do you want to help give the world a pair of big beautiful breasts? Here is your chance!

New Sex Study...

It has been determined, the most used sexual position for married couples is a doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead...

Double Redundant Bicurious Yummyness

Trillian has a new patch. Go here to get it.

Blast from the past...

Finally some good news...

I have a new cell phone. It also sends and receives e-mails to jcoffi(at)mgmmirage.com and SMS (7024009186) messaging. The number is (702)400-9186 .

Non-Commercial Valentine's Day Ideas

Non-Commercial Valentine's Day Suggestion #9: Herpes: The Gift That Keeps on Giving.

Thanks

Thanks to those of you who called.

Update

I had a serious run in with the law yesterday. They told me I wasn't allowed to say anything about it up here so I won't. But needless to say I'm scared out of my fucking mind. I have no computer so I won't be posting much. If you want to call me, call me at 400-9186. If you want to e-mail me, email me at 7024009186(at)page.nextel.com . I'll keep everyone posted.

Vote YES!

Scientist invents Harry Potter invisibility cloak

I told you all they did it!

If only real life were like this...

The coolest thing I've seen all day.

What?!?

The performance follows a legal case in which composer Mike Batt was forced to pay a six-figure sum to Cage's publishers, who accused him of plagiarising a silent piece of music.

CNN is dumb.

Brought to you by Tide and Jesus.

The Mad Revisionist

THE MOON: A Propaganda Hoax

Joe Millionaire finalist starred in foot-fetish/bondage movies

(with screenshots)

Here is proof why that whole IQ thing is bullshit.

Why stick figures are extinct...

It is finished. Finally.

GiantLavaLamp.com

"Paris has the Eiffel Tower, Seattle has the Space Needle and Soap Lake has the worlds largest Lava Lamp. The Lava Lamp is proposed to be 60+ feet high with a diameter of 18+ feet. It is constructed of cast 4-6 inch thick reinforced glass with a structural metal base and top cap. The contents of the lamp will be similar to conventional lava lamps, which contain a combination of liquids and colored treated water."

More from FLEM

FLEM Comics

A few weeks ago I participated in setting up a cluster. Clustering was virgin to me. We were down to the last screen (when the service starts) and we got this. We still don't know what caused that error.

Today I decided to try and setup a cluster on my own. I was successful. To celebrate, I created this.

Vacation to Tokyo

Free sex for all applicants Las Vegas-McCarran, NV, USA to Tokyo-Metropolitan Area, Japan DEPART: Saturday, February 15, 2003 RETURN: Monday, February 17, 2003 FARE DETAILS (listed fares do not include airport taxes): ADULT 1x 734.4 USD GRAND TOTAL: 734.4 USD

Santa had to employ a different means of pulling his sleigh after PETA got through with him.

Here is a list of all the mp3's I have at work. This doesn't include my collection @ home.

This is what happens when you leave your girlfriend alone with your whiteboard. If you're too lazy to click the link then you don't get to see it.

This is cool.

Streamripper is an open-source (GPL) plug-in for Winamp that connects to streaming MP3 servers such as Shoutcast and records the tracks to your hard drive as individual files. With the emergence of file-sharing protocols such as Napster and Gnutella, the average Internet user can download nearly any MP3 file quickly and easily. Streamripper, however, allows you to download an entire station of music from the Internet. After installation this plug-in can be activated in the preferences menu of your Winamp player. Streamripper for Winamp 1.54

Haiku:

Look everywhere And you are sure to see them The Signs of the End

I'm impressed.

Cell computing will also facilitate a distributed style of networking that performs computing tasks in much the same way a cell phone network routes calls. Thus, for example, the PlayStation 3 will be able to use its broadband Internet connection to draw additional computing power from idle processors across the Internet. If still more horsepower is required, the PlayStation 3 can even tap into a home network to enlist support from other available machines. Put simply, Cell allows pieces of a computing task to be distributed among all available processors to harness their combined power.

CNN.com - Teen charged with poisoning friend - Jan. 10, 2003

Police said Furlough bought the cyanide with his mother's credit card in November. The Louisville, Kentucky-based chemical supplier that sold the poison, Antec Inc., said Furlough inquired about the chemical over the Internet, but placed the order by phone. He told the company he planned to use the substance to plate metal. I remember when kids would just steal each other's lunches. Or take their turn on the tire swing. Kids are much more clever now.

Purchase a cd between 1995 and 2000?

Get 5$ per CD

Am I HOT or NOT

Afgan style

The new 2004 Mustang

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkee." She says, "Yea, I know and I'm gonna get boobs too."