talk about bad news...

Many events have unfolded over the past few days.

• Saw my cousin Eddie who has been in prison for 10 years.
• Saw my mom who I hadn't seen since she left Vegas.
• My grandmother died
• I found out I'm a sociopath

I went to Reno over the weekend and saw my mom and my cousin Eddie. It was my last trip up to Reno before I re-depart for Texas. Eddie has been in prison for 10 years. He was like an older brother to me. While I was showing off my car to him he said "I just want you to know that I respect you and that I'm proud that you kept your life straight." That was nice. Becki seemed to handle my family. My grandmother died on Sunday from a brain tumor. I knew the last time I saw her alive it was going to be the last time I saw her. I even told my family right after our visit. Becki and I had a conversation on our way back from Reno. She told me (based on what I had said) that I was probably a sociopath. I called my doctor and asked him about it. He agreed that I am a sociopath. Clinically there is no such thing as a psychopath. "Psychopath" is used interchangably in society with "Sociopath", or "Anti-Social Personality Disorder". A rose by any other name...

ADHD frequently co-occurs with other problems, such as depression and anxiety disorders, conduct disorder, drug abuse, or antisocial behavior.

Score 0 if the trait is absent, 1 if it is possibly or partially present and 2 if it is present. The item scores are summed to yield a total score ranging from 0 to 40 which is then considered to reflect the degree to which they resemble the prototypical sociopath. A score higher than 30 supports a diagnosis of psychopathy. Forensic studies of prison populations have reported average scores of around 22 on PCL-R; control "normal" populations show an average score of around 5.

I scored a 21. Add on top of all that the fact that I have obsessive-compulsive tendences (but not full blown OCD) and you have someone who can go batshit-loonball. It's not all bad though...

"There are psychopathic personalities in the highest echelons of government, and even within religious hierarchies in America. You can't just assume that a person with the title judge or hospital orderly got there honestly and won't manipulate the hell out of you."

For more info... Now I'm off to Mexico, I'll see you all in a week...

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